A healthy relationship is very positive for mental health, especially for those recovering from health issues. A stable marriage or partnership can prevent depression and anxiety and reduce stress. On the other hand, an unstable or otherwise unhealthy relationship can exacerbate mental health issues and even be worse than staying single, according to data from the Mental Health Foundation.
How do anxiety and burnout affect dating today?
One might feel a relationship is making them anxious and depressed, but they can’t explain why. It’s difficult to answer a question like that when feeling anxious or depressed or if drugs or alcohol have clouded their past interactions with a significant other.
Large-scale literature reviews indicate that, generally, adults suffering from anxiety disorders are likely to experience low relationship quality. Among the signs that a partner may be making one’s anxiety worse is a constant fear that that partner will leave, feeling antsy and agitated in the relationship, struggling with trust issues, and fear of rejection. 27% of respondents in a recent survey reported experiencing dating burnout due to this fear.
However, the biggest reason was the inability to genuinely connect with another person (40%). Being disappointed by people came next (35%), followed by repetitive chats with multiple matches (24%). 22% were burned out by swiping, and 21% reported being unhappy about how much time they were spending using dating apps. Women felt more burnt out, with 80% reporting feeling this way compared to 74% of men.
In males, unresolved mommy issues can exacerbate emotional well-being, often leading to trust issues, unstable relationships, and difficulty with intimacy. This can result in anxiety, low self-esteem, and depression.
Identifying the red flags
Frequent feelings of suspicion are a common sign of underlying issues affecting modern dating. A person’s mind works overtime with doubt and constant concern about a partner’s behavior. After a date, they worry about when and if they will see the person again. They might feel misunderstood, with frequent disagreements occurring even in the early stages of the relationship.
They find themselves settling for brief connections that leave them wanting more. Feeling like something is missing or feeling empty after a date is over are both signs that something is wrong with the interaction.
Self-censorship is another common thread. When people keep meaningful things to themselves, it can stop them from enjoying emotional intimacy.
Other red flags include making excuses for their date, second-guessing their motives, or feeling like they can be honest with the person, but that person isn’t being honest with them.
Steps to address mental health
When a past experience has left one with trust issues, one must take the time to address those emotions before resuming dating. Open communication is essential, even in the early stages of dating. When interest in pursuing a connection is lost, it’s much better to respectfully end things rather than ghost.
Burnout is nothing to be ashamed of. As of 2024, 78% of people who have been dating report experiencing it at least sometimes. Millennials emerge as the most vulnerable generation (80%), followed by Gen Z (79%) and Gen X (78%). Baby Boomers were the least vulnerable, with 70%. Burnout usually manifests as reduced motivation to date and emotional weariness.
There is nothing wrong with taking a break from dating apps or dating in general.
It is imperative to recognize and accept that not every date will lead to a lasting relationship. Without realistic expectations, overcoming mental health issues becomes even more challenging.
Finally, practicing self-compassion is critical for emotional wellbeing. Higher levels of self-compassion are associated with increased optimism, feelings of happiness, connectedness, and curiosity, as well as reduced anxiety.
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